Are You A Global Daughter?

Because she is amazing, because Global Daughter is amazing and because I am so proud to be here sister, read someone else's take on why we should all be Global Daughters!

Feeling A Little Lost

One amazing week with my sister and back to reality. I'm worried I've bitten off way more than I can chew. 3 very time consuming classes, at least they are looking that way, 3 kids and their friends in and out of the house throughout the day, errands, housework, husband, cats, I'm afraid I will get lost in all of it. I hate to feel so down about everything, but I don't know how else to feel. Am I really capable of doing it all? Have I taken on too much? It doesn't help that I'm having a hard time figuring out how to deal with some personal frustrations, things I don't have a lot of control over. It stresses me out, makes me feel more alone and makes it hard to find the bright spots. There are two bright spots coming, as long as I stay up on my homework. I'm going to Suzanne's baby shower on Thursday! I haven't seen her since my 30th birthday getaway! After I'm hanging out with Teresa and staying the night at her house. Can't wait. I'm looking forward to the 4th and the hopefully warm weather and great company at the lake. The 4th is becoming one of my favorite holidays. I'm excited to spend the day with my family, and hoping I get enough work done that I don't have to bring any school work with me.

I just keep telling myself I CAN do this...hopefully that will be enough.

Loving LA

Having the best time in LA. Had my first In and Out Burger. So good! Had the best day with my sister. I'm loving my time here. Tomorrow we hit Universal Studios for some fun. This has been just what I've needed after a very long 9 months of school.

Sometimes Hard Work Doesn't Pay Off

I've done all I think I can do. I have given up my free time, my time with my children, and I have given everything I have to my A&P class...but it just isn't enough. I have no hope of that A- anymore. Even after my final on Friday I will most likely end up with a B, maybe a B+, but that is a long shot. Don't get me wrong, a B is a fine grade, but it feels like it doesn't reflect what I actually put myself through and what I learned in the class. I don't know why I struggle on the tests. I know the material, can carry on conversations with students about the material, even had a long one with the teacher about some of it and she said I had a good grasp of it. Then I sit down to take her tests and it doesn't translate. Her questions are confusing and worded so hard for me. I don't think that a B will change my chances of getting into the program I want, at least, I'm hoping it won't, but it is such a personal disappointment for me. If I felt like I had only provided B work, it might be different, but I have killed myself for this class. I know, I'm such a whiner, but if I don't let it out it will eat me alive. After a very long weekend filled with a few too many tears, my emotions are already so close to the surface. It was agony trying to sit through 2 hours of lecture feeling like such a failure. I am hard on myself, only because I know I am capable of so much more than what I'm showing. I just don't understand what I am doing wrong...trust me, even though I wrote about procrastination and 90210, I promise I didn't really do all the much watching...and you do need to rest to avoid synaptic fatigue (something I learned about in my class.) After tonight I am more than ready for the week to be over. I can see myself in the California sunshine, nothing hanging over my head, laughing, exploring and building memories I want instead of cramming things into my brain that won't come out right and make me feel awful. I can do this, right? Can I make it through the next 3 days? I can tell you one thing, I'm going to enjoy every moment at the kids school and not kill myself with worry about my final. Those are the memories I want from this week. Tomorrow morning I'll be at the park with my daughter, watching her celebrate the end of kindergarten, Thursday I'll watch Elijah in a class play. I'm going to look for all the good things this week, and let the rest work out the way it will. I can only do so much. I can tell you I'm glad I'll have a different teacher in the fall...we'll see if it makes a difference. At least I don't have to worry about that until fall!

Just a Few More Days

Just a few more days of books, quizzes, tests. Just a few more days of driving kids to school every morning. Just a few more activities at the kids' school. Just a few more afternoons with only Eve. Just a few more days until I'm in California living it up with my sister.

Honesty

Never underestimate the importance of telling someone how you feel and what you need. We don't always now how our actions may impact someone else, so it is good when they let us know.

A small moment of honesty tonight created a deeper connection, for me at least. I am proud of the courage it took and glad the trust was there (with a small push). I love you.

You Know I'm Procrastinating When...

1. I'm blogging
2. I'm watching reruns of 90210, One Tree Hill, and the OC on Soap Net
3. It's any day of the week. A little peak into my study room.!

There is so much to do in the next two weeks. I would really just like to enjoy the kids last 10 days of school, get my house cleaned up and pack before my trip and maybe read something enjoyable. I've been surrounded by flashcards for the last 3 nights, and most of today and it's hard to focus when there are so many other things I'd rather be doing.

I did have a great birthday. Brian, the kids and I went down to my mom's for dinner. It was cold, but that didn't stop my kids from swimming. We had to pull the three of them out of the water after 30-40 minutes because their teeth were chattering and they were bright red from cold. They didn't care, they had a blast. My mom made a great dinner and brownies from scratch for dessert. I even got to blow out candles after being sung to by my family. A perfect afternoon.

Saturday, my last night of being 30 I stayed up until almost 1 am studying. Sunday, my first day of 31, I could hardly keep my eyes open past 8. I aged overnight.

Back to the books...and a little 90210 in the background. It's the beginning of their sophomore year in college, so it counts as school related, right?
Yeah, I totally took pictures of 90210 to post on my blog. If that isn't procrastination, I don't know what is!